Saturday, August 21, 2010

1 1.6 What does that make you?

Ashton didn't drop by the gym today. Neither did she took a stroll in the park.

She's breaking all her routines to clear up her mind. Doing different things helped her to forget about Edward. She convinced herself that the feelings she had for him were nothing but a fling, cause it all happened too fast. It could never work out in the first place, and she wouldn't blame that on the way he defines what a family is.

Ashton went home right after work and decided to fix her computer. The monitor kept flickering these past few days. She couldn't stand it no more and tried her handiness on it since she learned quite a few things back when she was in the Test department.

But she can't quite concentrate. Meddling with appliances wouldn't ease her distraught thoughts right now. She was close to a break down state with all the things messing up in her head, and she needed to run from it; facing it would just make her sink more into it.

So she ran and ran.

And ran.

And ran until she found herself on a different ground. Not paved. Not carpet grass. But white sands. She panted for breath as she looked up to the vastness before her eyes.

It was the sea.

A view she dreaded to behold, or at least that's what she thought she'd feel all these years. But she seemed to prove herself wrong. This sea was different than the one that swallowed her entire family into the depths. It wasn't raging, wasn't rising in layers of tides, wasn't dark nor was it cold.

This sea seemed to be the opposite of it; calm all the way to the horizon, waves dancing towards and off the shores, and surface glistened like a thousand diamonds under the warm sunlight.

Ashton was not afraid of it. In fact, she felt like it was singing to her...

Feeling rather drawn to the call of the salty breeze, Ashton walked towards the waters. And stood there staring far into the horizon, listening to the orchestra of the sea. Of soft breeze blowing, waves kissing the shore with passionate rustles and seagulls squawking in harmonious symphony.

She never knew such a side to the sea existed. Well, she knew it did... she just forgotten about it. Just like how she can't remember how it feels to be around a family. And standing here gave her the sense that her family was never gone.

They never left her. And she was never alone...

Ashton stayed on the beach till sunset, and before she returns to the town, she promised to herself that nothing will pull her down from this journey; now that she have truly grasped the feeling of being home.


She didn't forget about the dinner with Cyclone that night. Even though, it was to celebrate her promotion, the both of them did not mention anything about work. They just chatted away things about their day (or at least, Cyclone's day), things about themselves, things about the town, things about movies... well, all sorts of random things under the sun. Everything but work.


"So..." Cyclone slowed down after laughing from his jokes. "Have you met Connor yet?"

"Connor?" Ashton was puzzled at the sudden change of topic pace. "Yes, I have. Sometime ago. At the gym. Why?"

"Kay, girl," he swallowed his food before continuing. "Imma won't beat around the bush, cause its you. Cause you're Ashton, okay - "

So he does know my name, her thought interrupted.

"Wanna go on a blind date with him?" he blurted.

"What?!" Ashton almost choked on her food. That was so out of the blue. He seriously shoved the bush aside.

"Um-huh!" he confidently mumbled as he chewed off his cheeseburger.

"First of all, I already know him. Well, not know know, but you couldn't call it blind," she tried to stay calm, though her tone was near panicky. "Second of all.... a date?!"

"Would it hurt?" now he's going back to actually beat the bush.

"Would you explain?" she demanded, not allowing him to beat around.

"Look, he's a good guy," he tried to keep it simple. "We used to work together in the same department before I got transferred to the magazine, and he went to daily papers."

"Quite a loner but he has his reasons," Cyclone continued on. "I just want him to experience more of life than just... hiking on borders and hitching on rides on the highway."

"Its called Backpacking, if you hadn't notice," she stated the obvious.

"He's been running away!" by now, he's flailing his arms. "We've been pals for a long time, and I know he has a painful past. I know what he's been going through. But it's time for him to wake up and let go, instead of going backpacking with it."

Although Ashton don't know what's Connor past was like, she understood how it could still hurt you, but then she also found out just today that letting go was not about beating yourself up to fulfill something in life to cover all those hurts, but rather... to runaway to a place that makes you feel you're not alone.

Places like that does take your pain away. And maybe Connor is still running because he hasn't found that place of his yet.

"And I think getting to know a new townie like you would be a fresh break from his routines," Cyclone was still babbling. "Hey, girl, you're still listening?"

"Yes, I am," she said.

"So whaddya say?" he finally asked.

"If he's the runaway backpacker, and I'm the fresh break..." Ashton sipped her drink. "What does that make you?"

He grinned and playfully replied,


1 comment: